new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
