White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
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