Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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