She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
