Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I supernannyed him into submission
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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