My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize