You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
