Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Randomize
