I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
