I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
