Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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