big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
