I can tuck mytits in my pants
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
