i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Oh god it's open bar.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
