This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
