his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
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