Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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