New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize