took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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