my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
