I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Vodka?
Forever.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
