Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
