thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
