i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
