dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Randomize
