i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
