He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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