And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
