Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
