I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
