I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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