OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
