Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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