apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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