so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize