We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
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