I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize