I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
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i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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