someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
