VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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