Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
