My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
