On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
