Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
