he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
