Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
