Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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