Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
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We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
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you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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