dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
If that was your dad, he is hot
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
