great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
