At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
