I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Randomize