Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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