Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I just want to make out with him forever
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