I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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