just come out here and I will go home with you...
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Houston, we have a squirter
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.