Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
At least life still wants to fuck me.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.