Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
