he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Randomize
