Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
