IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Randomize
