First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
this boner is exhausting
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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