he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
