I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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